The Rumour Mill never had Sir Alex Ferguson pegged as a Kriss Kross fan, but could draw no other conclusion upon seeing the Manchester United manager wear his woolly Manchester United hat backwards yesterday, as an homage to rappers Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly and Chris "Daddy Mac" Smith, the So So Def Recordings artists who announced a 20th anniversary comeback recently and remain best known for Just Kickin It while wearing their clothes the wrong way around.
Quite what any of that has to do with the confusion surrounding Montpellier central defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa's immediate future is anyone's guess, but reports suggest that Arsenal are on the verge of hijacking the 23-year-old's protracted move to Newcastle In Free Fall, despite the Magpies having agreed an €8m transfer and the player reported to be on his way to the north east to discuss personal terms. Having already lost Loïc Rémy to a different club from That There Big London in this transfer window and Newcastle's fans taking up their pitchforks and flaming torches, it's probably fair to say Newcastle manager Alan Pardew will be seething if he's gazumped by yet another French club. Elsewhere in France, Lyon have packed a bag with a toothbrush and a Gunnersaurus onesie for midfielder Yoann Gourcuff and will send him on loan to Arsenal.
Wigan Athletic will begin their annual attempt to escape from the drop zone by attempting to shore up their defence by bringing Sebastian Coates and Ronald Zubar in from Liverpool and Wolves on loan, while comeback kings Reading will continue with their spate of shrewd low key signings by recruiting centre-half Curtis Davies from Birmingham City.
In the early throes of withdrawal having not dabbled in the transfer market since sending one time Lord of the Manor of Frodsham Djibril Cissé out on loan to Qatari side Al-Gharafa yesterday, QPR manager Harry Redknapp will keep the shivers at bay by resurrecting the career of Florent Malouda, who has fallen so far down the Chelsea pecking order he isn't even in the club's 25-man Premier League squad. In other Chelsea outcast news, Frank Lampard is reported to be weighing up offers from a dizzying array of unspecified European clubs as well as LA Galaxy.
That nattering sound you can hear if you listen very carefully might well be the "talks" about Mario Balotelli between Manchester City and Milan that are expected to begin today. Our man in Manchester, Jamie Jackson, reports that City want £31m for the Italian but says "the fee may end up nearer to the £24m he cost them from Internazionale in the summer of 2010".
Norwich City have taken advantage of Nottingham Forest's decision to release goalkeeper Lee Camp and the Norn Iron international has already staged what the Mirror describes as "whirlwind talks" over the weekend and will sign a contract any minute now. Discussions about weather phenomena in which a vortex of wind forms due to instabilities and turbulence created by heating and flow gradients may also take place between representatives of Fulham Football Club and Olympiakos defender Vasilis Torosidis, who is out of contract in the summer and available for purchase for the cut-price sum of £500,000.
Liverpool have had a bid of £8m for whelpish, curly-haired Inter attacking midfielder Philippe Coutinho laughed out of the San Siro and will have to up their offer if they wish to bring the Brazil international to Anfield. Inter's ongoing plan to get Holland international Wesley Sneijder remains up in the air, with the midfielder having apparently turned his nose up on a mooted move to Galatasaray despite both clubs having reached an agreement. Late edit: No, he hasn't, because it turns out he's actually signed for the Turkish side.
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