Usually it's around the beginning of January that the gloom kicks in. It's dark when you put your flushed feet on the inhospitable floor; it's dark when you are microwaving your Weetabix and putting enough sugar on top so that you don't have to taste what's underneath. It's dark when you are groping your way to work; it's dark when you are groping your way to lunch. It's dark when you are on your third trip of the afternoon to the tea machine and doing you're absolute best to avoid the pile of work stacking higher and higher and higher on your desk; it's dark when you're in the supermarket staring at the shelves unable to chose what you want for dinner. It's dark when you are watching TV and wondering why people find Michael McIntyre funny; it's dark when you are failing to fall asleep because of the weird noises outside your window.
Darkness, darkness everywhere … it's best to have a drink.
But nope, that's out of the question. That's gone for 31 dreary, drawn-out days. Health is the excuse – "ah sure, I have to give the liver a break after the lorry load I ploughed into me over Christmas" – but being broke after frittering it away over presents that didn't want to be bought for people that didn't want to receive them (but smiled politely and said the right things, anyway) is the real reason. However, worry not dear readers for that gloom is days away yet, days. For now, go eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a merry heart. Unless, of course, you are a fan of QPR or Liverpool because then it is entirely understandable if you lot embraced the January gloom a little earlier than the rest of us.
QPR have spent most of their time since August 18 snuggling up with the foot of the table. Their away form has been more shocking than a queen-sized bed of electric eels – three points from a possible 30 – but at least their home form has been OK, right? You know, something that they can build on, something to give the fans the briefest sliver of hope, make them think they won't be sinking back down to the Championship next season. Ehhh-eeeeh! Of the 160 sides that make up the Premier League, the Championship, League One, League Two, the Blue Square Bet Premier, the Blue Square Bet North and the Blue Square Bet South, only three have garnered less points at home all season than QPR – Hartlepool, Scunthorpe and Hinckley United hang your heads in shame.
The vast majority of that is down to what happened BH because since Redknapp came in and took control of the over-paid, under-performing misfits, there has been some decent results and a lot more organisation to the team. The four games before he took charge saw three defeats and a draw; the four after saw three draws and a win – their only win of the season. But as quick as optimism can be created, it can be crushed and QPR's had something of a Christmas catastrophe against Norwich and West Bromwich Albion. "A bad day, a bad result, we're bang in trouble," said Harry after the West Brom one. He wasn't un-right.
Top half of the table they may be – by the skin of their goal difference – but Liverpool have never had fewer points after 19 games since the three points for a win rule was introduced. They have, at times, played some pretty decent stuff – see the win over Fulham for further details – and shown the resilience needed of a side that has such notions of upperosity – see the win over West Ham for further details. However, the 2-Live-Crew-styled big but is that the Merseysiders have failed to show these qualities on a regular basis and right now a top-four finish looks about as realistic as WWF back in the day.
Honest individual that he is, Rodgers admitted as much on Friday: "There is no doubt we need to be more consistent. We've shown that on our day we are a match for any team in the league and some of our performances this year have been exceptional, but we have to do that over longer periods and that's something we'll strive for going forward," he chilled-out entertained and it is probably worth noting that only once so far this season have his side managed to win two league matches on the trot.
"Liverpool have got some fantastic, high quality players. They're rebuilding and changing things around. They've spent good money," buttered up Redknapp at his recent presser, presumably talking about Luis Suárez and not Jordan Henderson or Joe Cole or Stewart Downing or Andy Carroll. So far this season, Suárez has been one of the best players to watch and not just for Liverpool but for the entire league. He has already matched last season's league goal total and only Steven Gerrard has had more assists for Liverpool. Without those goals and assists, Rodgers' side would be languishing in 15th spot, a solitary point above the relegation zone and a goal difference of -9. Thus, Harry and co will be delighted to hear that the Uruguay striker has shook off that ankle-gah! that has been troubling him of late and should be gracing our screens this afternoon. Confirmation of that and the rest of the team news will be with you just as soon as it is with me.
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