Saturday, 21 September 2013

Liverpool v Southampton, Newcastle v Hull and West Ham v Everton in Premier ... -

16.48 That was the chance the Anfield faithful were waiting for. Sterling is put through one-on-one with Boruc but a terrible touch takes the ball away from him and the chance goes begging.

16.47 There will be a massive seven minutes of added time at Upton Park but there only looks to be one team who might score. Everton are all over 10-man West Ham.

16.46 A bit of team news ahead of the late kick-off: Juan Mata and David Luiz are not even in Chelsea's matchday squad to face Fulham. I can think of about 19 other Premier League clubs who would happily take either of them off Jose Mourinho's hands.

GoalGOAL! West Ham 2-3 Everton (Romelu Lukaku) What a win this could be for Everton and it's Mr Debutant Lukaku who gives them the lead! Mirallas loops a high cross into the box and Lukaku battles through to bravely head the ball into the net. It looks like he's been knocked out for troubles so will probably remember none of it.

GoalGOAL! West Ham 2-2 Everton (Leighton Baines) He's done it again! And this one is even better!!!! Baines steps up to take the free-kick after Noble's red card, he targets the opposite side of Jaaskelainen's goal and scores the goal of the afternoon. That man has serious dead-ball talent.

16.38 Red card Noble has just put West Ham ahead but his game has ended early after a second bookable offence, bringing down Barkley.

GoalGOAL! Newcastle 2-3 Hull (Sone Aluko) This is a thrilling game at St James' Park and now Hull have taken the lead for the first time. The visitors work the ball down the left and the cross picks out Aluko who volleys it in spectacularly from just inside the box.

GoalGOAL! West Brom 2-0 Sunderland (Liam Ridgewell) Things have rapidly gone from bad to worse for Sunderland. They are down to 10 men and now Ridgewell has added to the misery.

GoalGOAL! West Ham 2-1 Everton (Mark Noble) McCarthy brings Nolan down with a clumsy challenge in the penalty area. The referee points to the spot and Noble makes no mistake.

16.31 Bad news for Sunderland as they try to find a way back into the match. Fletcher goes down, looks like he's popped his shoulder out and that will be the end of his match. Sunderland have already made all three changes so will have to finish with 10 men.

16.26 Superb triple save from Mignolet. First he keeps Shaw's shot out, then prevents the ball going into the net off Sakho's back, and again he saves for a third time as the ball is fired back in. Liverpool seriously struggling and have their keeper to thank for only being one-goal behind.

16.23 Big shout for a penalty at the Hawthorns as as Altidore's shot is blocked. The Sunderland players think the ball hit a hand but the referee is unmoved.

GoalGOAL! West Ham 1-1 Everton (Leighton Baines) That. Is. How. To. Take. A. Free-kick. Baines wins the battle with Mirallas to take the set piece, steps up and finds the back of the net with the most sublime strike.

16.18 Here comes the end of Liverpool's four centre-back experiment. Enrique is on for Agger and I suspect we will see some real-life full-backs in the next match.

16.15 More trouble for Everton with Martinez forced to use his third and final substitution of the match minutes into the second half with Oviedo on for Osman, who is injured.

16.13 So nearly a second for Southampton as Osvaldo drives a powerful long-range strike which Mignolet holds onto at the second attempt. And the Lingard story gets even better. He's just scored a fourth on his Birmingham debut!

GoalGOAL! Liverpool 0-1 Southampton (Dejan Lovren) Well Liverpool have been pretty ordinary today and they have been made to pay as Lovren nods a corner home

16.08 Look who it is at Anfield. Someone who could be Mikel Arteta's brother talking on the phone. Oh and there's Luis Suarez behind him.

GoalGOAL! Newcastle 2-2 Hull (Ahmed Elmohamady) Brady delivers a free-kick into the Newcastle penalty area and Elmohamady climbs highest to level things again.

16.03 Yes. Everton had 60% possession in the first half but only one shot. So here comes Lukaku.

15.59 Are we going to see Romelu Lukaku at the Hawthorns after the break?

Half time That's the end of the first period and there has been some very entertaining action. Not everywhere though. The match at St James' Park has been the one to watch so far with Loic Remy enjoying himself, but league leaders Liverpool have shown next to nothing against a Southampton side who could easily have been in front at the break. Paolo Di Canio's Sunderland are quite frankly lucky to only be 1-0 down and the game at Upton Park... isn't great. More from me in 10 minutes.

GoalGOAL! Newcastle 2-1 Hull (Loic Remy) There's his second and it's a cracker from Remy. Cabaye's shot is deflected into his path and the striker sweeps a lovely curling shot past McGregor for Newcastle to regain the lead.

15.44 Liverpool really have been poor against Southampton. Aside from Boruc's save to deny Gerrard's free-kick, Brendan Rodgers' side have offered nothing and their immobile defence is suffering. Expect changes at half-time.

15.42 A good opportunity for Newcastle to take the lead but Yohan "I love Newcastle, I only want to play for Newcastle, the only thing on my mind is Newcastle... until next summer" Cabaye fires his shot over the bar after Ben Arfa picks him out.

15.39 It's not Premier League action but he belongs to a Premier League club so I'll give you some information from the Championship game between Birmingham and Sheffield Wednesday. On-loan Manchester United youngster Jesse Lingard has just completed a hat-trick in just 13 minutes to mark a memorable debut at St Andrew's.

15.37 "...and then all I have to do is raise my hand and all the lights go out with the spotlight on me."

15.34 It's all West Brom at the Hawthorns. First Amalfitano's shot is deflected onto the bar before Anelka's dangerous ball is cleared away with Amalfitano lurking in front of goal.

GoalGOAL! West Ham 1-0 Everton (Ravel Morrison) It's his first ever Premier League goal as Morrison's shot takes a wicked deflection and wrong-foots Howard before settling in the back of the net.

GoalGOAL! Newcastle 1-1 Hull (Robbie Brady) Graham wastes a glorious chance (yep, not the most surprising thing you'll read this afternoon) for Hull but the ball works its way back into the Newcastle box where Brady pokes it through Krul's legs for the equaliser.

15.26 Newcastle have dominated the opening stages at St James' Park but Jake Livermore has a couple of long-range efforts blocked as Hull look to find a way back into it.

15.23 What. A. Save. Gerrard thinks he's scored. The crowd think he's scored. In fact everyone thinks he's scored as a free kick looks destined for the back of the net but Boruc has other ideas and somehow manages to keep the ball out at full stretch.

GoalGOAL! West Brom 1-0 Sunderland (Stephane Sessegnon) Stick that in your pipe and bloody SMOKE IT Di Canio. Sessegnon was dumped by the Italian this summer and what a way to stick a metaphorical two fingers up at his former manager. Westwood saves the first effort from Sinclair but can do nothing about the second from Sessegnon and West Brom take the lead.

15.18 Any Dream Team reference is a winner for me:

15.15 What's going on at Anfield? Not too much at the moment. Sakho, who looked fairly shaky at centre-half against Swansea, looks to be even wobblier on the left and is being targeted by the visitors.

GoalGOAL! Newcastle 1-0 Hull (Loic Remy) There's the Frenchman's first Newcastle goal. Cisse volleys the ball into the danger area from the left and Remy powers the header goalwards.

15.10 Here are your options for a spot of lunch at Upton Park. Double burger AND double sausage!

15.07 Westwood is a lucky boy in the early stages at the Hawthorns. The Sunderland keeper comes to gather a long ball but finds himself out of the penalty box and is forced to drag the ball back into the area with Anelka inches away.

15.04 First chance of the match for Liverpool as Aspas pegs it down the flank before pulling the ball back to Sturridge. The in-form man flicks it on to Henderson who puts his effort down Boruc's throat. Not literally.

15.02 I can confirm that Sakho and Toure are playing at full-back after losing out in the crunch Liverpool pre-match rock, paper, scissors game.

15.00 Soccer has begun.

14.55 A brief round-up of interesting team news will follow now.

- Stephane Sessegnon starts for West Brom against his old club Sunderland
- Fabio Borini makes his first start for Sunderland since signing on loan from Liverpool
- Romelu Lukaku has to make do with a spot on the bench for Everton

That was a brief round-up of interesting team news.

14.52 I have no words:

14.45 Ready, steady, team news:

Liverpool v Southampton

Liverpool: Mignolet, Toure, Skrtel, Agger, Sakho, Gerrard, Lucas, Henderson, Aspas, Moses, Sturridge. Subs: Brad Jones, Jose Enrique, Alberto, Sterling, Ibe, Kelly, Wisdom.

Southampton: Boruc, Clyne, Fonte, Lovren, Shaw, Wanyama, Schneiderlin, Lallana, Osvaldo, Rodriguez, Lambert. Subs: Kelvin Davis, Steven Davis, Ramirez, Ward-Prowse, Cork, Chambers, Hooiveld.

Newcastle v Hull

Newcastle: Krul, Debuchy, Coloccini, Yanga-Mbiwa, Santon, Sissoko, Cabaye, Anita, Ben Arfa, Cisse, Remy. Subs: Williamson, Gouffran, Elliot, Marveaux, Tiote, Sammy Ameobi, Dummett.

Hull: McGregor, Elmohamady, Chester, Davies, Rosenior, Livermore, Huddlestone, Quinn, Brady, Graham, Aluko. Subs: Bruce, Meyler, Boyd, Sagbo, Harper, Faye, Proschwitz.

West Brom v Sunderland

West Brom: Myhill, Billy Jones, McAuley, Olsson, Ridgewell, Mulumbu, Morrison, Amalfitano, Sessegnon, Sinclair, Anelka. Subs: Popov, Yacob, Rosenberg, Camp, Lugano, Anichebe, Berahino.

Sunderland: Westwood, Celustka, Diakite, O'Shea, Colback, Johnson, Gardner, Ki, Giaccherini, Borini, Fletcher. Subs: Altidore, Ba, Cuellar, Mannone, Ji, Cattermole, Mavrias.

West Ham v Everton

West Ham: Jaaskelainen, O'Brien, Collins, Reid, Rat, Diame, Noble, Morrison, Nolan, Jarvis, Maiga. Subs: McCartney, Tomkins, Collison, Vaz Te, Adrian, Taylor, Petric.

Everton: Howard, Coleman, Jagielka, Distin, Baines, Osman, Barry, Naismith, Barkley, Mirallas, Jelavic. Subs: Robles, Heitinga, Oviedo, Deulofeu, McCarthy, Lukaku, Stones.

14.42 I've just been handed a mince pie. On September 21.

14.40 Hello everyone, it's that time of the week again. The time of the week that 20 years ago meant so much but in the BSkyB/BT Sport/Champions League/Europa League era leaves us with just four Premier League matches. 3pm on Saturday may not be what it once was but that's not going to stop us having some fun is it? I said, IS IT?? That's right, let's get pumped.

Can Liverpool win the title? Absolutely no chance. But that hasn't seemed to stop a vast number of people debating the possibility. Today Brendan Rodgers' team top the bill with a trip Southampton and the Northern Irishman has decided the best way to win is by picking four centre-backs. Toure, Skrtel, Agger and Sakho all start and rumour has it a game of rock, paper scissors will be played before kick-off to decide who lands the central berths.

Elsewhere the only two sides in the league yet to have won a match this season - West Brom and Sunderland - take each other on. So that'll be 2-2 then. There's a couple of other matches as well but we'll get onto them in a bit.

In the mean time this is what I wish the Premier League was like. Hula girls, bongo drums and absolute screamers.

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